We all can't have a Ryan Gosling. (Bleeker Street blog coming soon...)
I have had my fair share of boyfriends- some good boys, but mostly bad boys. We all learn from mistakes-so they say, but I can't say that I have learned from them 100%. I still seem to find the one guy in a bar who will be amazing at first and then turn out to be a total loser. This bad pattern, or should I say bad habit stops NOW. In my early to mid 20's I was with the same guy for most of the time and at the end of our long relationship he tells me that he does not want commitment. My heart was broken to say the least, but so was his. He is one of those guys that does not want a partner ever. It took me a long time to get over him and to not compare other guys to him. Our journey was long and hard and filled with lots of tears, but I am happy to say today he is one of my best friends. We are much better as friends. In my late 20's I had boyfriends on and off and all of them had one thing in common-- they did not want a girlfriend. They were bad boys that treated me like shit and the worst part is I let them. Now that I am in my 30's (I will forever be 30) I have learned what I will and will not put up with and I learned that loving myself is more important then finding someone to love me.
I will be honest- this is all new to me because not even last month I was letting an ex-boyfriend treat me like shit. When you had enough and are willing to except change, change will come.
I love to say that I don't have a type, but that is so untrue. The guys that I go for are white, blues eyes, has a beard and most likely a hipster. I have been finding myself letting go of the blue eyes and the hipster status, but I still love beards. GOD! I love them!
I want a guy who is RAD and when we are together we are more awesome as couple. I want to be a power couple like Jay-z & Beyonce and with our powers combined, we are both greater & stronger & funnier & happier & and more RAD than ever before. I know that any good relationship needs balance-- one person shouldn't always be lifting the other one up and battling to keep their partner from dragging them down with them.
I have put together a list of things I will start looking for in a guy. Things that will make me believe in love always,and believe the universe will put me in the right direction to find that one good guy left.
- will not judge me for watching bad TV.
- won’t put others down to make himself feel better.
- will treat everyone with respect.
- will call and not just text and will text or call just to say ‘Hi.’
- will be emotionally mature, available, and evolved.
- will ask me how I’m doing and how my day was and actually care.
- will be content sometimes to spend the whole day in bed watching movies and eating takeout.
- will have goals, dreams, and the drive to achieve them.
- will be interested in culture, music, art, and travel.
- will tell the truth.
- will actually enjoying spending time with me.
- will be crazy about me as much as I will be about him.
- will appreciate the art of foreplay.
- will want to go to sleep at night with me, and wake up beside me in the mornings.
- will appreciate my efforts to try new things.
- will talk to me when something bothers him.
- will love me for me -- faults, imperfections and all -- and love me all the more for them.
- will stay with me through joy and pain.
- will have a backbone in the relationship and not be afraid to tell me ‘no.’
- will be a great kisser.
- will have a great sense of humor, but know when to be serious.
- will know who he is as a person and be honest about that.
- will think I’m HOT, not just cute.
- will treat me as well as my friends do.
- will be able to laugh at himself.
- will have a regular sized temper than does not super-size itself randomly.
- will give me space.
- will not make me feel like I’m only second best.
- will be able to think more than two day in the future.
- will know what a commitment is and follow up that knowledge with actions that support it.
- will understand that relationships aren’t all perfect, and that sometimes fighting can resolve difficult issues.
- will talk dirty.
- will be confident in himself, but not egotistical.
- will trust me.
- will be more interested in sex because he wants to be with me, not because it’s sex and he just wants it.
- Will love a cheap beer once in a while
- will love that I have such a big heart.
- will love that I’m independent.
- will be okay with little displays of affection such as holding hands.
- will stand up for me if someone unexpectedly attacks me, verbally or otherwise, and ask questions later.
- Will be creative.
- Will make laugh until I cry
So here's to true love and happy endings!