oh shoot

To you my city, I love you to your gritty core.

I lay here on the floor of my bedroom spread out like I am making a snow angel with tears rolling down my red checks. I feel like I am at a crossroad where I need to choose which direction to go.

I guess I should start this story with my love affair with San Francisco. I was nine years old and I came to visit my Aunt and Uncle who live in Oakland. My Aunt had to go to work in San Francisco and had to take me with her. We drove over the Bay Bridge and as I looked out the car window I could see these big building with hope staring back at me. My heart started beating a beat I have never felt before. It was like San Francisco was pulling my heart out of my chest, but not to hurt me. My body became warm and my eyes filled with tears because for the first time I felt like I was home.

Fast forward to when I was 18 years old standing in a airport hugging my best friend Lauren. Whispering in her ear that I love her. I wanted to stand in that moment forever.  My flight was boarding. I had to go. I had to let go. With one bag, I moved my life to San Francisco.

You, my dear city, have shown me life, love, happiness, sadness and struggle. You have taken me by the hand and walked me to the cliff only to let go. You have pulled, pushed, punched, and then wrapped your warmness around me. And still I stand by your side with my heart full of love for you. Then the day came where every corner, every ally, every bar, every park, every hill, every street, every pot hole, every day and every night I started to hate you. My love started to fade and I felt empty inside. You took all that I had, all that I could give and left me standing at the crossroad.

Right when I make a decision to leave you and move-- you show me your beauty again. You whisper sweet nothings into my ear and tell me I am where I belong. I am home.

San Francisco has always been my first love. I used to hate leaving her, but the feeling I got when I returned was worth every minute I was gone.

To you my city, I love you to your gritty core.

My 31st Birthday (Morning)

Please excuse the puffy face and crazy hair. These photo were taken around 9:00am after a long night of having a GREAT time. 

Eleven of my closest friends and I went yurt camping in the woods. When we arrived we were in disbelief that this place was real. It has to be one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. It was so peaceful.

I woke early on my birthday and went around the camp and started cleaning up from the night before. Then I went into the kitchen yurt were I put on music and started washing dishes. My Jarod joined me about fifteen minutes later and made me one of his "Hermann" drinks (I would love to share this drink with you, but it is not mine to share.)

Slowly the rest of my friends joined us in the kitchen yurt to cook my birthday breakfast. After we ate we sat around chatting.  Later, Erin came in and handed me a note and the note said...

I ran into the sleeping yurt. As I walk in I said "I hope its a chicken bag," but instead it was another note with a hint on it. There were a lot of little notes that took me to different places around camp until I was at the Elf Chapel. BTW-- one of the hints was to beet on a drum!!! I love my friends!

Once we all ran down the hill to the Elf Chapel-- I had everyone go up first and then I followed.

*This chapel is so cute and would be great for my knitting group or a book club meeting.

I walked up to all of my friends smiling at me and pink and white streamers hanging off of trees. I looked to my right and guess what I saw sitting on a tree stump?

A CHICKEN BAG!!!!! I have wanted this bag for about two years now. Every time I see it, I tell Erin and Laurel that I want it, but I would never buy it for myself.

Side story: what is so funny about me wanting and carrying a chicken bag is... I HATE CHICKEN. I mean, I REALLY, REALLY HATE CHICKEN!!

Inside the chicken bag were little notes from all my friends. Not just notes, but wishes. Each friend wrote me a wish. I started to read them myself, but I started crying and Jarod had to take over for me. Thank you Jarod!

This is my family and I love them with all my heart.

Thank you for making this the BEST birthday EVER!

The one and only time I will be taller than Erin.

10 Things

(Birthday Weekend Away. May 12, 2012. Laurel, Megpie and I)

1. I am really excited to share my birthday photos with you. THEY ARE GOOD! If you follow me on instagram and twitter then you have seen some fun photo, but there are over 300 more.

2. I have been really busy at work and that is a good thing.

3. I have so many blog posts to write and so little time. I will have at least 3 posts tomorrow.

4. I am super in love with self-help stuff lately. I have been reading this stuff like crazy. I have always been a sucker for self-help.

5. I finally know what I want to do when I grow up and I am taking the steps to make it happen.

6. Evernote is my new boyfriend. I have been working on a blog post about Evernote. It should be ready next week. It really is the shit!

7. I creid at my birthday, but it was all good tears. I have the BEST group of friends in the world. I really do. I feel so lucky.

8. I am having fun being 30 something. My 30's have been good to me!

9. I have been so HAPPY lately and it feels sooo good!

10. Siri is my new best friend, but I can't stand her voice. I wish they would come out with different voices for her.

31 Things (Birthday List)

(My 30th birthday. New York subway station 2011)

On Sunday, May 13, 2012 I will be turning 31. I wanted to make a list of 31 things that I am thankful for in the last year. I have mixed feeling about turning 31 and I just want to go in this new year with a positive attitude. 

1. My 30th birthday was the BEST birthday EVER! 

2. Having good friends drive up to San Francisco to see me. 

3. Saying goodbye to my best friend was hard, but I know she loved me and that is something I am so thankful for. 

4. Meeting new friends 

5. Going on night bike rides with the best people I know 

6. Spending the weekend on a boat

7. Being part of my Uncle's wedding

8. Going back to New York City 

9. Getting new tattoos 

10. Finishing the Central Park Hoodie

11. Starting a knitting group 

12. Adventures with Erin 

13. 80's Prom 

14. Loving this little guy

15. I am so thankful that I did not have to have knee surgery 

16. Dressing up with Erin 

17. Having weekends like this 

18. Making my first dress 

19. Making BIG lists

20. Going through heartache because it made me stronger 

21. Working on my sleeve 

22. Getting back into blogging 

23. New York a 3rd time

24. Road trips with friends  

25. Living in a city like this 

26. Having the family I have and knowing they have my back

27. Wearing more dresses 

28. Making a bucket list 

29. Afternoon naps with this guy

30. Having one of the best little sisters ever 

31. 30 was a great year and I welcome 31

Life List (take two) or Bucket List

(image found here) 

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the places and moments that take our breath away. Anonymous

Two years ago I started writing my life list and I only got 25 out of 100 things on my list. I started thinking about things that I really want to do in this one life that I have and for starters sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day is not one of them.

1. See the  Eiffel Tower

2. Live on a farm

3. Live in New York City

4. Learn how to ride a unicycle

5. Throw a coin into the Trevi Fountain, Italy Rome

6. Slow dance under the Northern Lights 

7. See the Rolling Stones

8. Write a Novel

9. Eat blow fish

10. Ride my bike across Golden Gate Bridge

11. Visit India

12. Learn to start a fire without matches or a lighter

13. Learn to Yodel

14. Learn French

15. Read Gone with the Wind

16. Go surfing in Ireland

17. Build someone a house

18. Teach kids how to knit

19. Visit Panama

20. Learn archery 

21. Take a road trip to anywhere (just get in the car and drive)

22. Fall in love

23. Open my own coffee shop

24. Set foot in all 50 states 

25. Wear a large hat at the Kentucky Derby

26. Go to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park

27. Dye by hair hot pink

28. Make a living off photography

29. Run a half-Marathon

30. Bike through National Geographic's 10 Best Bike Trails in the World.

31. Ride a bicycle from Los Angeles to New York

32. Take up fishing.

33. Swim in all of the Great Lakes

34. Learn to play the drums

35. Jump from a cliff into deep water

36. Sleep in An Overnight Train

37. Walk Through a Corn Maze

38. Adopt a pet from the animal shelter

39. Go bird watching in Panama

40. Go to The Grand Canyon, Arizona

41. Got to Death Valley, California

42. Carnival in Venice

43. Learn to play chess

44. Do woodworking

45. Learn to brew beer

46. Solve the Rubik's Cube

47. Make a list of 100 books I want to read

48. Discover what makes me truly happy

49. Become an early riser

50. Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty

51. Develop greater self-esteem and self-confidence

52. Face my greatest fears

53. Open a Swiss bank account

54. Create a Family Tree

55. Find inner peace

56. Heal my past

57. Learn to live in the now

58. Make a difference in at least one person's life

59. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

60. Write a travel book

61. Go to The TED Talks

62.Throw out the first pitch at a major league baseball game

63. Cook an entire Thanksgiving meal, from scratch

64. Go to Times Square on New Year's Eve and count down as the ball drops.

65. Sleep in a haunted house

66. Jump into a pool fully clothed

67. Eat something I have grown: tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, and so on

68. Travel solo

69. Say You can't fire me, I quit

70. Say to someone Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

71. Do some sort of exercise for 20 minutes, every day, for a year

72. Attend a Murder Mystery Dinner

73. Become a minimalist and whittle my possessions down to only 100 things

74. Be on the Ellen show

75. Form a band

78. Ride in a hot air balloon

79. Race a sports car

80. Spend a weekend with Michael Cera

81. Ride a dune buggy in the desert

82. Visit Museum Of Modern Art (MoMa), Manhattan, New York

83. Dance in the rain

84. Get one arm fully tattooed (Sleeved)

85. Learning how to use "too" right

86. Have dinner with Obama

87. Organize every digital photo in my photo library

88. Leave San Francisco (seems simple, but this is really hard for me)

89. Build a doll house

90. Go on a trip with my brother (just me and him)

91. Learn all the words to Walk This Way and sing a long without making a mistake

92. Make 101 playlists

93. Own a Canon 5D

94. Photograph a wedding

95. Live in an RV and travel for a year

96. Have a positive net worth

97. Own a Chanel suit

98. Stay in a tree house

99. Get kick out of somewhere and say "I've been kicked out of better places than this"

100. Do everything on this list